Live to Love
by Moggie
Summary: [COMPLETE][GSR] Get passed the insecurities and live.
1. Chapter 1

Live to Love  
  
Author: Moggie  
  
Pairing: Do I really need to tell you?  
  
Category: Angst  
  
Rating: R  
  
Summary: Read and find out.  
  
Spoilers: Not Sure Yet  
  
Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.  
  
Notes: Song = David Sylvian -Dead Bees on a Cake: Darkest Dreaming. The song from 'Lady Heather's Box', where Grissom is sitting in his car at the end of the episode.  
  
Section 1  
  
The room is dark apart from its single light source, the moon. It's glow floats around the room with its soft white and blue light. The large bed in the centre of the room is occupied and the sheets are barely covering those that weren't sleeping.  
  
He raises his head and locks onto her dark eyes. She grips his biceps as the passion grew and let out a gasp of pleasure. His body gave into everything and showed her all that he felt. Their eyes never wavered as his lips grazed her nose in a light kiss. Bodies met in perfect synchronisation, both amazed and wondered how it was that they were making love like it had always meant to be.  
  
Sweat glistens against the moonlight shining through the window. His back muscles bunched tightly and relaxed with each motion. Dropping his head as his eyes clamped shut; his fingers pushed through her silky brown hair. His lips found hers as she slipped her hands over his shoulders to rest on his neck. Drawing air into their lungs between kisses, their movements became more urgent. Breaking a deep kiss with a gasp from both, they gave into the passion that had been locked within them for years.  
  
Eyes met, still intimately held together. Tears gradually form in her eyes as he gazes down at her. His thumb brushes a tear away as he let a small sad sigh pass his lips. Closing his eyes, he gently kisses her, lingering until both knew it was time to stop. Her eyes remained closed as they curled up together and slept for the first time in each other's arms.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
"Stay tonight  
  
We'll watch the full moon rising  
  
Hold on tight  
  
The sky is breaking  
  
I don't ever want to be alone  
  
With all my darkest dreaming  
  
Hold me close  
  
The sky is breaking  
  
I don't ever want to be alone  
  
With all my darkest dreaming  
  
Hold me close  
  
The sky is breaking"  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
She had her back to him as she listened to his soft breathing and light movements of deep sleep. Her tears had returned and as she rolled over to see him, she couldn't stop them from dropping onto her pillow.  
  
He lay on his back with his right arm resting over his stomach and his left pushed under his head. He looks so peaceful and so young lying beside her. She wanted to remember this moment forever, burn it into her mind so she could look back and remember that she was once happy and that he had loved her, showed her his love for her and gave every ounce of feeling into it.  
  
Now, she was conflicted as to whether she should stay or go. It was still dark outside and the moonlight was fading. If she didn't decide now, she would still be in this bed lying beside him when he woke.  
  
Thinking about that time of wakefulness, it scared her. He may have shown her, but what would it be like when he woke up to find her here. She couldn't stop the pain that filled her heart and her tears gradually blurred her vision some more.  
  
She hesitated as she reached out to hover her hand over his heart, wanting so much to touch him, but afraid he'd wake and she'd see the confusion and then the regret.  
  
Pulling her hand back to wipe her eyes, she tried to stop the crying and control her beating heart. She slipped quietly from the bed and collected her clothes that had fallen to the floor hours ago in the throes of passion.  
  
Looking back at him as he moaned and turned in his sleep, she watched as his left hand reached out to the space she had been. Her eyes closed as he pulled her pillow to his chest and sighed.  
  
He'd understand he had to. It was for the best and she wouldn't have to wait anymore. It had been over three years that she had waited and when he finally took notice, she had made her decision to leave. She knew it was the reason he came, to stop her, to talk her out of it, but in the heat of the argument, she'd kissed him.  
  
Now she knew what it feels like to be close to him, to touch him and to kiss him. If that's all he was willing to give, she'd allow him to give it, but she knew deep down that he'd never change, he'd never pursue it even if she stays.  
  
He wanted this from the beginning, for her to stay away, to not get involved, but she couldn't. She couldn't just leave in the beginning. It was too hard to leave him even though she never meant anything to him. She knew. She wasn't completely blind to his true feelings. He kept his hearing secret from her because he's private, but more because he didn't want to tell her.  
  
Enduring his gruffness at work and his seemingly unlawful treatment of her was moot now. She understood and though it took so long, she figured it out. He really didn't care anything for her other than a co-worker and it was strained to believe he'd kept her on. He must have really hated her for the things she did. If she thought his 'deserving a life' comment was going to pull them further apart, she would have been content on being alone.  
  
Over the year and a half, their friendship that had been unbreakable was shattered into tiny pieces. Friendship that had lasted long before she came to Vegas was no more and for a long time she had thought about leaving. Perhaps their friendship could be salvaged if they never worked together or saw each other for a while.  
  
Funny how a friendship turns into a tattered relationship and the only way that seemed to fix the problem was distance and that didn't always work.  
  
Casting one last look across his sleeping body, she couldn't help the lasting tear that slipped from her guard and rolled down her cheek. She felt she was betraying him and her punishment was already set before her. She was destined to be alone forever.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
He rolled over and stretched his arm out against the mattress; much like many hours ago, feeling for it's other occupant. Finding nothing but the cold crisp sheet, his eyes slowly opened to see nothing there. Pushing himself up, he looked around the room with a heavy heart.  
  
Her suitcase was gone from by the door and her jacket was missing from the chair by the desk. A strong feeling of loss and pain hit his heart so hard, he didn't notice the lone tear that escaped him and landed in slow motion on his hand. She was gone from his life forever. She'd left him alone to deal with the aftermath of what had happened and worse, she'd left him in her bed.  
  
TBC 


	2. Chapter 2

Section 2  
  
Sara sits back in the large chair as she stares out the small oval window with a crushed heart. She finally did it. She was leaving everything behind and although she couldn't brush the betrayal from her heart and mind, she had to push the past away and look onto her future, alone.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
He was sitting on her couch with the sheet from her bed wrapped around him. His eyes were on the photo in his hand and his finger would absently wipe the teardrops that fell onto the glass frame.  
  
She had left her keys, cell and pager on the kitchen counter along with her official letter of resignation.  
  
Lifting the photo slightly, he pulls the envelope from behind, which was once pinned beneath her keys. It had his name scrawled on the front and the back was open. He wanted to read it, but was afraid of what it would say.  
  
Midday was approaching by the time he turned the envelope over. He stared at the folded paper that protruded the back as the knocking at the door began getting impatient. Ignoring the sound the best he could, he lost the nerve and clutched the envelope, scrunching it in his palm. He didn't mean to do this, but the fear of her words were something he might not want to read.  
  
More knocking and a voice broke through his numb ears and gradually registered.  
  
"Sara!"  
  
It was Catherine's voice. What would she be doing here? She's one of the reason's he chose to avoid Sara. She had convinced him that Sara was going to ruin him if he went ahead and started a relationship. Although he had dismissed it at first as Catherine's way of protecting him, he now knew her real intentions and they were to assist in Sara's leaving.  
  
Anger suddenly flared and overtook his emotions. He grabbed for his pants and slipped them on.  
  
"Sara, open up!"  
  
Once he had his pants and shirt on, he made his way to the front door to cease the banging.  
  
"Gil?"  
  
He stared her down as she stepped back. "You've got some nerve being here." He interrupted her as she began to speak.  
  
Raising her eyebrows in curiosity, she asked. "Excuse me?"  
  
"She's gone, happy?" He gruffly asked as his blue eyes darkened into furious hurt and anger.  
  
"I haven't a clue what you're getting at, but she's probably better off leaving." She responded equally furious at his accusation.  
  
Grissom's eyes narrowed as he raised his head slightly. "Better for whom?"  
  
"Sara."  
  
"Really? That's not what you were saying the other month. Apparently she's the basis to all my problems, wasn't that what you said?" He stepped out into the hall, looking menacing at his long time friend.  
  
Catherine swallowed hard, but stood her ground as she squared her shoulders and stood firm. "What! You've suddenly grown some balls after fucking her and I'm the bad guy!" If his eyes grew any darker, she would have sworn they'd turn black.  
  
He'd rarely felt hate for someone he'd known so long, but Catherine had said the wrong thing and at definitely the wrong time. "Go." He turned away before he said something he'd regret. Even if she wasn't afraid to speak her mind, he was.  
  
"Gil?"  
  
Before slamming the door in her face, he turned his head, but not to look at her. "Go!" He growled as his eyes stared into the dark corner by the door.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
The connection was still strong with him as she left the airport and hailed a taxi. She could feel or maybe sense his anger, but it felt weak.  
  
The taxi took her further into the city and stopped outside a nice set of apartments. She was lucky her friend was staying at her old place and though it was so long ago, she couldn't help feeling that she must have known she'd return some day.  
  
Pushing her key into the lock, she smiled when the sound of music made it to her ears and faint singing made her heart a tad lighter. She placed her cases on the floor and closed the door loudly to get their attention.  
  
A tall blonde haired scruffy male wearing sweats and a t-shirt, stuck his head out from the kitchen and grinned. "Hey girl!" He squealed and rushed over to hug her.  
  
Sara wrapped her arms around his broad shoulder and buried her face in his neck. "God! I missed you, ya know?"  
  
"Of course, can't go away and not miss me." He chuckled and kissed her check. "Come on, I made veggie soup and garlic bread."  
  
"I guess I am a little hungry." She smiled, thinking that she didn't eat on the plane or before when she was at home. Well, Vegas isn't home anymore, San Francisco is.  
  
"Good, you go unpack and I'll set the table." He suggested, picking up her field kit and placing it on the table by the door, its usual place when she lived here years ago.  
  
Smiling again, she nodded. "Ok kiddo."  
  
After settling down to eat, they talked the hours away to catch up. It had been a while since she had rang home and asked about things and her friend had only e-mailed a few times to see how she ways. He wasn't really a phone person and stuck with his trusty computer, the future lines of communication.  
  
"You still have your job, right Curt?" Sara asked with a knowing grin.  
  
Rolling his eyes at the accusation, he nodded. "Course I do silly. I wouldn't have been able to hold this place if I was working for a fast food joint now, would I?"  
  
"Only teasing you baby brother." She laughed.  
  
Since Sara was in her teens, she had known Curtis. He was at college when they first met, learning the communication highway online. He had gotten into some trouble with the law and while Sara was working at the crime lab at the time, she had helped him out. At first they went out a few times, but soon discovered each other's likes and dislikes. It was funny after a while and a brother-sister relationship was born.  
  
Although the main progression in their relationship was halted because Curtis is gay and Sara's not, but they laugh about it now and haven't fallen apart over their differences in the other sex. Sara introduced nice guys to Curtis and was always trying to match him up, but he seemed content on playing the field and not settling down.  
  
"So." Curtis began and watched as Sara's eyes broke from his. "You can't hide it sis, you'll tell me either way." He prodded; knowing there was something behind her return.  
  
She nodded and placed her spoon on the table. "Not tonight Curt." She pleaded.  
  
He smiled reassuringly and reached out to squeeze her hand. "Want some dessert?" He asked kindly, understanding she wasn't ready to talk about it.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

Section 3  
  
It was too quiet in her apartment and he still hadn't left. Feeling the connection between them seemed too strong, even after she's gone. He didn't understand why that was, but it gave some sense of hope that she'd return soon.  
  
After a rough deliberation, he collected his things and made sure the place was reasonably clean before heading to his townhouse to change and go to work. He had sat in her apartment all day and after Catherine's blow up, he felt his heart sinking and his emotions running wild.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Settling into his leather chair, he placed Sara's pager and cell in his top drawer. Fingering her keys absently, he pushed them into his jacket pocket and stared at the letter of resignation. If he could hold off a few days, make it out that she took a few days off to rest, then maybe he could convince her to talk to him and come home.  
  
Leaning over the poor looking envelope with a frown, he placed his hand on it to flatten it out. If she left and wasn't coming back, it would be in there. If she regretted last night, it would be in writing. If she never wanted to see him again, he sighed; it would be in on paper.  
  
Before he could try and talk himself into reading the letter, his office door opened and Catherine appeared with a nervous look plastered across her face.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
He nodded and looked back at the envelope.  
  
"I didn't mean anything I said." She added softly. "I was shocked, that's all."  
  
"It still didn't explain why you said anything Catherine. You weren't supposed to even be there." He said tiredly.  
  
She pursed her lips, keeping herself from spilling the truth of her appearance at Sara's front door.  
  
Grissom, however, knew there was a reason and when he pushed his chair back to stand, Catherine knew by the look on his face that he didn't believe her.  
  
"Why were you there?" He asked, walking around his desk.  
  
She shrugged. "Just checking how she was. I heard about the resignation."  
  
He shook his head and leaned back against his desk with his arms crossed over his chest. "Try again."  
  
"It's true." She protested half-heartedly.  
  
"You only just knew about the resignation because you were looking at the official letter on my desk, also, you were there this morning because you couldn't help but stick your nose in and make sure you gave her a few words to make her stay away. Why would you do that Catherine, please, enlighten me as to why you'd ruin things between us?"  
  
Catherine stared at him in utter shell shock.  
  
"I'm waiting." He demanded.  
  
Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs, she dropped her eyes. "I was always looking out for you."  
  
"I doubt that." He scoffed. "Since Sara came to Vegas, you did nothing but alienate her. Maybe you were friends for a while, but you still can't get over the fact that she couldn't find Eddie's killer."  
  
Snapping her head up in anger, she stepped towards him and pointed her finger at him to emphasise her threats. "Don't dare turn this around."  
  
Setting his jaw, he stood. "I'm not. You can't get over it Catherine, admit it. You think because she couldn't find the killer, she's the one to blame." He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "I was the one who assigned her. I was the one who signed the papers. She didn't shoot him. She didn't endanger Lindsey. She did everything she possibly could and got two convictions, but that's not good enough for the wonderful Eddie Willows." He taunted. "He was nothing but a bully and a con. You can't stand there and tell me he was Lindsey's father, because he was a whole lot less."  
  
Breathing in heavy angry gasps, he winced and rubbed his head. "Damnit." He muttered and turned away.  
  
Catherine's eyes soften and her thoughts took a back burner when she saw the pain take over a grimace on his face. "What is it?" She asked gently.  
  
"Nothing. We've got work to do." He dismissed her by grabbing the night's assignments and leaving his office.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara smiled at Curtis as he handed her a beer. He sat down and put his feet up on the coffee table. "You sure you don't mind me being here Curt?" She asked, turning to watch the TV.  
  
Chuckling and choking on his beer, he turned wide eyes at her. "This is 'your' place Sara, you know that."  
  
"Yeah, but you've lived here 4 years without me." She said sadly.  
  
Slipping his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her so she could snuggle against him. "And before that, you lived here nearly 6 years. I think you should just settle back in and we can talk about some things tomorrow." He suggested, telling her with his eyes that she wasn't going to ignore the problems for long if she was staying.  
  
"Ok." She sighed.  
  
"Maybe you feel up to scouting the town tomorrow, do some shopping, pick up some guys?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, earning a genuine laugh.  
  
"The scouting around and shopping, yeah, I can handle that, but not the last one." She giggled.  
  
He nodded and turned his attention back to the TV. It was obvious now that she was here because of a bloke and by tomorrow night, he'd have everything out of her. She wasn't going to fester on his watch and if he could, he'd help her out.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Grissom's headache hadn't shifted, making his concentration waver. Although he was working a simple cut and dry robbery, he still couldn't get her off his mind and the anger he felt for her leaving him. She had to have felt it. She had to. It was something special; something he knew would be special if they ever got that far.  
  
Her leaving was the wake up call he need and his intentions on talking to her for some time had been interrupted with each attempt. He had wanted to discuss their relationship and after last night, he was sure she'd stay, but waking up alone in her apartment, was painful enough than finding the items of her life with him.  
  
Her pager was now returned to the stores, her cell phone was kept in his locked desk drawer, along with her badge and apartment keys. He didn't know what to do with them, let alone with the letter he had yet to read.  
  
With that thought, he pulled the crushed envelope from his pocket and pushed the case file away to place it on the table. What was it going say? Was it a hurtful letter, saying she regretted everything and was full of insults? Maybe it was a nice letter but it still finished with her leaving.  
  
He didn't even know where she was. She must have left Vegas, maybe home to her parents. Grissom's mind would conjure the worst and then the anger, but most of all, the sadness that she didn't want to stay and try 'this' out.  
  
Idly picking at the corner of the envelope, he closed his eyes and leaned into his right hand as his left pulled the letter free from it's confinement. His eyes opened and adjusted to the small print of her handwriting and slowly began to absorb her words, knowing what she said would be etched in his brain and heart forever.  
  
Whether it is good or bad news, he was determined to find her and talk to her. She wasn't going to just disappear from his life after last night. He knew she still had feelings for him or she wouldn't have let him stay. She had given in, but not easily to his pleading to stay. They barely talk, only argued until the adrenaline hit it's peak and erupted in a powerful and intense kiss.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
I'm confused and angry.  
  
I'm not angry with you, but myself. I don't know if last night was supposed to happen or if it was the heat of the argument fuelling our actions. I, for one, don't know how to feel about the how, and why, but the when and who. If I leave, I'll be able to find my feet again and you'll be. to be honest, I don't know what last night was to you, but it was wonderful. It's the only way I can describe it.  
  
I want to tell you my first thoughts when I woke up. I don't know if it will mean anything, but waking up with you did make me question what I should do and seeing you so calm and peaceful was something I could get use to, waking up with you.  
  
There is something I can't explain too easily, not to you or on paper. I don't know why I chose to leave. I honestly thought things would resolve themselves between us, but perhaps my confusion got the better of me.  
  
My one true fear would be waking up and that other person would regret and retreat. I've avoided the mass rejection so far, but my fear drove me away from the bed we shared.  
  
Friendship was something we once had and it was lost somewhere along the way to this day. I hope we can find that easy friendship we once had.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
He dropped his eyes to the last word, he couldn't stop himself thinking there should be more, but perhaps she didn't have anything else to say. It wasn't addressed to him or signed by her. It left a gaping hole of unanswered questions. If it was 'wonderful' why wouldn't she contact him or let him know where she was?  
  
He was beginning to go out of his mind with worry and fear that something bad could have happened. He knew she had family and friends, but couldn't think where she would have gone. All Grissom knew was that he needed to know that she was safe.  
  
TBC 


	4. Chapter 4

Section 4  
  
Searching for her old file at the back of a filing cabernet, Grissom kept thinking that he had to find her, no matter what. If she couldn't contact him, she may be hurt. He just wished that she'd ring him and tell him she was ok. His robbery was simple, so left the techs to process the evidence and hand it to Warrick to put together for court. He gave no reason as to why he was handing it over; he only wanted to find Sara's old file.  
  
Flipping past it in his haste to find a contact number, he pulled it out and opened it as he walked back to his desk. He sank down into his chair and read through the file carefully, not wanting to miss anything that may help in his search.  
  
And there it was. A contact phone number, but no address. It would have to do, he surmised. It wasn't her parents because that was on another sheet. It had a name, but that was it. He checked the time and battled with himself to ring at such an hour. Would there even be a connection. The number was put on there years ago and never called. It could be disconnected, but he wouldn't know unless he tried it.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Curt was just crawling out of bed for work when the ringing of a phone broke through his sleepy brain. Stumbling to the kitchen, he grasped the grey object to bring it to his ear a second later. "Hello?"  
  
"Oh, hi, is this Curtis?" The voice was hesitant and crackled against the static of the connection.  
  
Curt cleared his throat and leaned against the couch. "Yeah, who's this?"  
  
"Right, erm. my name's Gil Grissom. I'm trying to find Sara Sidle."  
  
"Sara?" Curt's eyes snapped open and he was suddenly very awake. "What was your name again?"  
  
"If I tell you, your not going to hang up, are you?"  
  
Listening to the stuttering, Curt grinned. "I won't, I promise."  
  
"Ok. Gil Grissom. I'm worried about Sara. She. left. the other day. I was wondering if you'd heard from her. I'm," Curt heard him sigh and sensed his frustration. "Can you tell me if you've seen her?"  
  
Looking up as Sara padded through the living room, he nodded. "Yes."  
  
"You have!?" He echoed over the line.  
  
Sara smiled at Curt as she headed for the coffee pot.  
  
"I'm looking at her, why?"  
  
Sara turned with curious eyes, but his back was to her and shook the thought from her mind.  
  
"Can I speak to her?"  
  
Turning to watch Sara's movements, Curt was torn between calling her and hanging up, but something told him he shouldn't be hasty in either case. He still didn't know what drove Sara here.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
". She doesn't want to talk to me does she?"  
  
Hearing his saddened tone, Curt felt for him. "Oblivious to you at the moment."  
  
"She doesn't know it's me?"  
  
"No, I can tell her, but it would mean damage control on my end."  
  
"I have plenty of that to do myself." Waiting for something more, Curt headed to the kitchen and took one of the two cups that Sara had filled with coffee. He heard shuffling on the other end and guessed it was paper. "This is a Californian number, right?"  
  
"Yes." Feeling he needed to help out here as the puzzle started to come together, he walked away from Sara and back to his room. "San Francisco to be exact."  
  
Silence was the reply for a long time. So long, Curt managed to grab some clothes, drink his coffee and head to the bathroom.  
  
"You're Curtis Grave?"  
  
Curt smiled. "It's nice to hear some recognition, but I'm guessing Sara is here because of you?"  
  
"Not completely, but yes. I thought we. I guess I didn't. I was too late and she left, I guess I deserved it."  
  
"No one deserves that Mr Grissom. Why don't you let me talk to Sara? We were planning on going out later anyway for me to nail her about her return."  
  
"I know it won't fix things, but I'm coming out to talk to her."  
  
Curt's smile faded. "Oh, that's. you sure that's a good idea?"  
  
A brief pause, but the hesitation was gone when he replied. "It's the only way. I'm going crazy not knowing where she is and I need to talk to her. She didn't give me time to explain. I didn't give enough time."  
  
He finally heard it, he heard the defeat and undercurrent of fear in the mans voice. Had Sara really left because of this man? Why would she do that when he clearly felt something for her?  
  
Turning his thoughts and voice back to the caller, he nodded to no one as he turned the shower on. "The address is, Julian Garden Apartments, number 32. I won't tell her, but I'll try and talk it out of her. It's up to you from there on."  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara smiled at Curt as his head turned to watch a particularly good looking bloke walk by. She elbowed him and laughed. "That's not polite."  
  
Curt chuckled and took her hand to place it on his arm as they continued to walk down the busy early evening streets of San Francisco. "So, you gonna tell me what happened?"  
  
Sighing, she looked away from his curious eyes. "I... just needed to come home."  
  
Nodding, he cleared his throat before asking. "Got anything to do with a man, perhaps?"  
  
Sara's head whirled round. "Wha... Uh, no." She shook her head. "I have no idea what you mean." She avoided and stopped in front of a shop window.  
  
Curt stepped up beside her and looked at the display. He took a quiet breath before revealing his hidden agenda. "Mr. Grissom rang this morning."  
  
Her whole system went into shock and all air from her lungs seemed to vanish as she gasped and choked. Curt rubbed her back soothingly as she gained her normal breathing, though it was still rather heavy.  
  
"H... How?" She managed.  
  
"A file maybe?" Curt shrugged. "I'm not sure where he got the number, but it is your old address. I'm sure he knows where you live."  
  
Sara looked at her friend and sighed. "What did he want?"  
  
Watching her reaction, he answered her. "He wants to talk. He sounded quite upset and really wanted to talk to you."  
  
Thinking back to the conversation this morning, she could piece together where each reply that Curt had made, fit in context now with Grissom's possible questions.  
  
Paling somewhat, she placed her hand on the glass. Her stomach didn't feel too good and the smell of a hotdog stand near by, made her nauseous.  
  
"Hey, you ok?" Curt asked worriedly, taking her arm to steady her. "Maybe you should sit down."  
  
Sara nodded slowly and leaned against him. "I just... didn't feel good all of a sudden."  
  
Curt smiled and sat down beside her on the bench. "Something you want to tell me sis?"  
  
Snapping her head up to the smiling eyes of Curt's, she looked horrified. "Nooo." She dragged out, not sure if she was sure of her answer and added a shake of her head to further convince herself. "Surely-" She cut herself off and stared at Curt with confused eyes. "You think?"  
  
He smiled and shrugged. "I wasn't there Sara. I can't comment."  
  
"But." She gasped and looked away, furrowing her brows in shock and fear. "No."  
  
Watching the display with a smile, Curt pulled her into a gentle hug. "Have you been sick?" He asked softly.  
  
Sara closed her eyes against his chest and thought back. Had she been sick? No, she hadn't, but she did feel a little nausea's on the plan, on the drive over and just now. Could that mean-? Couldn't, could it? Questioning it would give her the answers, she had to find out.  
  
"I think I should take a test." She whispered.  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

Section 5  
  
First time since his surgery a few months back, he was taking another vacation. This time, he was going to fix something else, his life. He had tasted what it was like to live and now he wanted to taste it again.  
  
It took a few hours to get things settled between the director and sheriff, but the time away was agreed and that the lab would suffer slightly, though they were sure Catherine and the other's could survive a few days.  
  
Soon, he was on his way and sitting in a cramped jumbo with his mind being overrun with ways to get Sara back and other's to convince her he wasn't going anywhere, if she'd only come home.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara dropped down on the couch and flung her arm over her ryes. "Got to wait two minutes." She sighed as she felt Curt sit beside her.  
  
"What if it's positive?" He asked.  
  
Sara turned her head and she bought her arm down. "What if it isn't?" She countered.  
  
Curt let out a sharp breath. "Stop it and answer me."  
  
She shrugged. "I'm not leaving." She said stubbornly.  
  
"What about he baby?" He asked, sensing her growing agitation and confusion, not to mention her increased sadness over the past few hours. As soon as they left the bench, Sara searched for a chemist store and took a while to come out. Curt had waited patiently with her as she stared at the box when they got back home and eventually, he had to give her a little nudge.  
  
"It's not a baby." She scowled and pushed herself up. "It's nothing yet. It's still early." She snapped, trying to believe herself as she spat the words out. "I don't believe this!" She squeaked, her anger slipping. "This can't be happening."  
  
Curt stood and approached her slowly. "You could tell him." He suggested.  
  
Sara shook her head. "Oh come on." She laughed dryly. "Grissom? Gil Grissom? would not know what to do with a child. Hell, I don't even know."  
  
Stepping closer, he grasped her arm as she turned to pace the living room once more, and pulled her to him. "It's ok sweetheart." He hushed her, rubbing her back as she let go of her confusion and fear that had built up since she even thought about being pregnant. "It's gonna be ok whatever happens. I'm here Sara. I'm not gonna let you go through this alone."  
  
"It could be negative Curt." She hiccuped.  
  
"Doesn't matter. I'm still here for you." He reassured. After a long time, just holding her tightly, he brushed his cheek against her ear and let out a long light breath that bespoke of many questions, but only one surfacing at this time. "You want this baby, don't you?"  
  
Sara heard his soft voice and his question hit her hard in the chest, right above her heart. "More than anything." She whispered hoarsely.  
  
Curt closed his eyes and pulled her close again. "It's time." He whispered, kissing her cheek.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Grissom had climbed into the taxi with his small hold-all and relayed the address to the driver. It took around 15 minutes to get to Julian Garden Apartments, but the time was spent in deep thought and trying to remember what he was going to say. That was all lost as the taxi pulled up. Although he had booked a room at a small motel down the road, he needed to see her.  
  
Paying the taxi driver, he grasped his bag tightly as he opened the door and stepped out into the harsh midday sunlight. He had tried to get a flight the same day he found the number, but he knew he couldn't just leave the lab without some kind of notice. So, he had waited, painfully, for an early afternoon flight and was so relieved when he saw a car in the parking space for apartment 32. It meant someone was home and he hoped it was Sara.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Curt poured himself some more coffee and checked the clock. It was his day off, but he should really go into work for an hour to catch up on some paperwork. His job was mainly computerised, but there was always something to sign off. As he was about to sit down and drink his liquid breakfast, a knock on the door stopped him.  
  
As he opened the door, he placed his coffee on the table beside Sara's field case. "Hi, can I help?" Curt asked the stranger.  
  
"Yes. I'm Gil Grissom. I rang yesterday."  
  
Curt blinked slowly. "Oh." He breathed, taking one glance behind him before opening the door slightly. "This isn't really a good time Mr. Grissom."  
  
Grissom placed his bag on the floor and sighed. "Would it ever be a good time?" He asked curiously as his eyes scanned the apartment he could see.  
  
"Well, maybe, it's just..." Curt swallowed and closed the door. "I suppose it's good you came so quick anyway."  
  
Hearing worry and concern in the younger man's voice, Grissom turned. "Something happen? Is Sara alright?" He quickly fired at Curt before following him further into the apartment.  
  
Curt nodded and shrugged, a contradiction in actions. "She's upset. Um." He reached up and scratched his chin. "I have to go into work for an hour. I don't want to leave her alone, but I'm still not sure you should be here, you understand?"  
  
Grissom stared at Curt with confused eyes and shook his head. "I'm sorry, no, I don't. I need to see her. Is she here?"  
  
A noise from the hall cut through the sudden silence and then a door opening caused both men to turn. "Curt?" Sara's groggy and chesty voice came from the hallway and soon she appeared with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, still clad in her pajamas.  
  
"Sara." Grissom's voice broke through their ears as she froze in the doorway to the living room.  
  
"Griss?" She rubbed her eyes before taking another look, still thinking she was asleep, where she had been dreaming of him. Looking back up, she realised it wasn't a dream. "Oh god, Grissom, what are you doing here?" She demanded. Her eyes pinned Curt with a deadly glare.  
  
Curt held up his hands. "I'm going to work for an hour. Call me if you need anything." He grabbed his coat and left them alone, although he dreaded not being there if something bad happened, not that he thought Grissom would do anything, he had a good idea what Sara would do to Grissom and didn't want to come home to the older mans blood on the walls.  
  
Back in the apartment, Sara was now staring at the floor, hugging the blanket tighter to her. Grissom stood, looking at her, taking in her bed head and smiling, but it soon left when his mind finally caught up with the shock of finally seeing her. "You left." He stated simply as she continued to stare at anything but him.  
  
She nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Why?" He asked her quickly.  
  
Sara shook her head and turned. "I don't want to talk about this."  
  
Grissom stepped forward and pleaded with her. "Sara please, you have to tell me so I can make things right."  
  
Stopping, she sighed. "Not right now Grissom. I'm tired."  
  
"It's noon." He told her with concern. Even he knew she didn't sleep for long and although he had a feeling she wasn't working again yet, that something had to be wrong for her to be sleeping this late.  
  
"I know what time of day it is Grissom, thank you for pointing that out to me." She near enough snapped at him.  
  
Grissom was left standing in the living room alone with his thoughts as she retreated back to her bed. He couldn't let her just leave him. He needed to know. He needed to convince her that he wasn't going to leave, not now that he had opened himself up to her.  
  
Sitting heavily onto the couch, he dropped his head into his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. His sigh was deep and sad, but his mind was running with questions, thoughts and feelings. Feelings? He knew what he wanted, he knew what to do, so why was he stalling?  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara's body was still wrapped in the blanket she had around her shoulders, but she was lying on her bed with her back to the door. She heard it open, but didn't turn.  
  
"Sara." He whispered, closing the door behind him before he moved further into the room to sit on the edge of the bed. Before that night, he wouldn't have ever done this, never allowed himself into her place, her room and definitely not her bed. But after he'd shared so much with her, he felt comfortable with this kind of closeness and he wasn't going to back down now, not until she told him it meant nothing.  
  
He reached out his hand to touch her shoulder, but stopped when he noticed her shaking body and then the sound registered in his ears, she was crying. Although it was muffled against her pillow, she was crying. He moved onto the bed, kicking off his shoes so he didn't muck up her sheets. "Oh honey." He said softly, shifting until her back met his chest. "Why are you crying?"  
  
"I don't know." She sniffled, silently taking pleasure in being held by him again. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her lightly to him. She wanted to be held by him so much, it hurt.  
  
"Ssssh, Sara... this can wait." He breathed. "We can talk later."  
  
"Thank you." She said softly, letting out a hiccup.  
  
Closing his eyes, he breathed out a slow breath against her neck. "You want me to go?" He asked shakily.  
  
Sara grabbed his hand so quick, it made him jump at the sudden movement. "No, don't go. Stay with me," She pleaded. "Hold me."  
  
"Ok." He pulled her closer, turning his hand in hers and linking their fingers to squeeze tight.  
  
TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

Section 6  
  
Grissom woke up alone and couldn't help the first thought that popped into his head. 'She left' He quickly scrambled off of the bed and left the room quiet, trying to hear anything to tell him she was still here. Breathing out a heavy sigh, he moved into the kitchen to see her standing in front of the kettle, waiting for it to boil. She must have sensed his presence, because she turned her head slightly.  
  
"Hi." She said quietly.  
  
He moved further into the room to stand behind her, but not too close. "Hi." He smiled and clenched his hands into fists to resist the urge to touch her, but his will broke as he took the small step towards her and lightly touched her sides.  
  
"You want some?" She asked, motioning to the coffee tin.  
  
"Thanks." He stared at her hands as she spooned some coffee into another cup and as the kettle clicked, she filled each cup carefully. She didn't seem to mind that his fingers were lightly kneading her sides through her thin cotton tank top. "Sara." He ventured to ask, but was cut off.  
  
"Not yet." She whispered.  
  
He nodded and let his left hand skirt across her back as his right reached for one of the cups. "Ok."  
  
They stood there in the same position, neither willing nor wanting to move. His thumb idly rubbed her spine as they stared at the collection of small plants on the windowsill and the light's flickering through the small window. It wasn't quite dark, but it was getting that way. Soon, it would be time to talk.  
  
"You can't avoid me now I'm here." He whispered close to her ear. "Promise me you won't leave me again." He near pleaded with her as she turned her head slightly and looked at him. She nodded slowly, talking one last glance in his direction, before moving away, sliding out of his touch and his warmth. He watched her walked into the living room before he followed her, but stopped when she headed back towards her room.  
  
"I'll get dressed. We can talk." She said over her shoulder, noting his panicked face as she moved away from him, putting further and further distance between them.  
  
Taking a moment to collect himself from the horrid feeling that had gripped his soul, he left his cup on the side and made his way to the bathroom. His body was emotionally tired as well as physically, but he couldn't rest or relax until he got her to talk.  
  
Grissom stared at himself in the mirror above the bathroom sink. His eyes had bags under them and even he could see the stress and worry lines covering his face. He wet the wash cloth and rubbed it over his face, trying to rid himself of any dirt and sweat from the days travelling and sleep.  
  
They had both guessed that Curtis was staying at work or was giving them space to talk, but Sara wasn't willing to talk yet. She kept dodging the subject, which didn't make Grissom feel any better about the situation.  
  
Looking down at the sink, he let out a deep breath, but stopped when his eyes caught sight of a long white and blue box in the waste basket. Well, it wasn't really the box, more of the words etched across the box. 'Pregnancy Test' The words were absorbed into his brain and his heart suddenly began beating faster, although he couldn't bring himself to breath, then it came out as a gasp and a cough.  
  
"You ok Griss?" Sara's voice floated through the bathroom door.  
  
Clearing his throat and patting his chest, he nodded, as though she was standing beside him. "Fine." He quickly dried his face and hands before opening the door.  
  
I was thinking... we could go get some food... there's a cafe down the road." She stammered, avoiding his eyes.  
  
Grissom nodded and stepped toward her. "Sara-"  
  
"I'll get my coat." She interrupted before he could continue and turned to find her coat.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
They had only been walking a few minutes when Grissom stopped and stared at the ground. "Can we talk out here?"  
  
Sara was looking at him, unsure what to do. "I-"  
  
"Please. Sara, I don't want to talk in front of loads of people." He looked up and sighed. "Let's talk here, now. Don't avoid this any longer...I found," He stopped, not sure whether to just say it or leave it alone, but the voice in his brain yelled at him to just say it. Walking closer to her, he reached up and touched her face, resting his palm against her cheek. "I found the pregnancy box."  
  
Sara gasped and stepped back, watching his hand fall back to his side. She didn't say anything, her voice wouldn't co-operate.  
  
"Are you pregnant? Is that why you left?" Grissom asked softly, scared she would run again.  
  
She finally answered, shaking her head. "I didn't take the test until yesterday." She confessed. "I didn't leave because of that. I-I was scared."  
  
"I would never intentionally hurt you Sara. I told you that." He stressed, trying to grasp her hand with his. Once he had a tight hold of it, he pulled her close. "I need to know Sara. You have to tell me."  
  
Sara wouldn't look into his eyes, so she stared at his chest, absorbing the warmth from his hand. "It happened so fast Griss... We didn't even discuss what would happen afterwards."  
  
She squeezed his hand and brought her other up to rest against his chest, still not meeting his eyes. "I know you have problems with commitment-"  
  
"Sar-"  
  
"No, it's true. I've witnessed the relationships you've had in the four years I was in Vegas and you always chose the lab."  
  
Grissom sighed and shook his head. "That's not what I was referring to."  
  
Sara looked up slowly. "What?"  
  
"The test, Sara. I need to know." His eyes locked with hers, waiting for her to speak.  
  
Hesitantly, she shook her head as her eyes began to fill with tears. "No." She breathed, looking away. "No, I'm not pregnant."  
  
Grissom nodded and closed his eyes against his own build up of tears. "You thought you were?"  
  
"I wasn't feeling too well... Curt said I should make sure... I-I really... I wanted..." Not being able to find the words or continue, the tears were released and started falling. "I'm sorry." She sighed. "I thought, maybe..."  
  
Suddenly realization hit him square in he chest at her jittery words. "You hoped you were." He stated, turning her face to see her eyes.  
  
"So much." She gasped, pulling her face away from his hand, but he wouldn't let her as he pulled her closer.  
  
He held her for what seemed like ages as she cried against his shoulder. His hand rubbed her back as he whispered soothing words in her ear.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
[You still enjoying this story folks? Tell me what you think should happen, perhaps I'll write it. Lol.] 


	7. Chapter 7

Section 7  
  
"I have problems with commitment, but that's nothing when it comes to you." He whispered against her skin.  
  
Sara breathed in a shaky teary breath and let it out on a sigh. "You would have left if I didn't."  
  
"You don't know that." He told her.  
  
"I do."  
  
"No." He said firmly, pulling back to look into her eyes. "You don't. I may have had bad relationships, attempts at relationships in the past, but they were nothing compared to you."  
  
Sara shook her head and wiped her eyes. "I'm just like them. I'm no different Griss."  
  
"You are. You're so much more." He sighed and pulled her hands from her face to wipe the tears with his thumbs. "I can prove it." He watched a smile break through and spread across her face, making him smile himself.  
  
"Always the scientist." She muttered.  
  
"You are too, you know?" He countered, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. He waited and watched her as she stared into his eyes. When she didn't say anything, his smile faded. "You saw it."  
  
Sara's brow furrowed in confusion. "Saw what?"  
  
Grissom pulled his head back slightly. "You saw my proof."  
  
Still confused, Sara tried to figure out what proof he was referring to. "We slept together?" She shrugged. "That's the proof?"  
  
"No." He sighed and shook his head, looking down at her hand he held lightly in his. "It was more than that. You saw it, Sara, I know you did." When she stared at him, he reached up and brushed another stray tear away with his thumb. His eyes locked onto hers, as he took his time wiping the tear away. "It was there, I know you saw it, because you cried." His voice was soft and only just above a whisper.  
  
Sara dropped her eyes from his and reached up to cover his hand. "Is that the proof?"  
  
"What more do you want, because, I've got nothing more to give?"  
  
She ran her fingers over his hand that lay against her cheek almost absently as she stared at his chest. "I don't need anymore than that."  
  
"Then let me take you home." He stressed.  
  
"No."  
  
"Sara, Please."  
  
She sighed and shook her head, reluctantly releasing his hand and stepping back, away from his warmth. "I can't go back. Not now."  
  
"Why? Is it because of Catherine?" Grissom asked, knowing now that he had to get her home. "I've spoken to her."  
  
Sara's head snapped up. "What!?"  
  
Sensing that wasn't the right thing to say, he tried again. "She came by yours after you left. She was banging on the door and demanding to see you."  
  
"Why?" She asked, clearly confused at Catherine's actions.  
  
Grissom shook his head. "I'm not entirely sure. I sort of bit her head off." Seeing Sara's curious questioning eyes, he shrunk, making his shoulders slump. "I was upset and it was a bad time. I was angry too."  
  
Nodding, Sara sighed. "I'm sorry."  
  
"No. You did it. You can't turn back the clocks. I just want to take you home."  
  
"It's not that easy Griss." Sara told him, moving to walk back towards the flat. She hooked her arm with his and turned him so they were walking.  
  
Grissom smiled as she leaned against him as they walked. "I didn't hand your resignation in yet." He got the exact reaction he was sure he would get and it made him laugh. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open. "I couldn't do it without finding out what it meant to you."  
  
"It meant everything to me, more than everything." She stressed, pulling on his arms as he wrapped his around her in a warm hug.  
  
"What now?" Grissom asked quietly.  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"You have 'any' food in the flat?" He teased.  
  
Sara laughed against his coat and held him tighter, brushing her cheek against his. "Yeah. Curt's got some stir-fry somewhere."  
  
"Hmmm." Grissom moaned at the thought of proper hot food that wasn't from a plane and tasted like cardboard. "I could definitely go for some stir-fry."  
  
"Come on then."  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Curtis looked up as the door opened. "Hey, I was getting worried." He stood and pulled Sara into a tight hug. When he pulled back, he touched her cheek. "You've been crying."  
  
Sara smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I'm ok though." She turned away and reached out her hand to Grissom. "You got any of that stir-fry left Curt?"  
  
Curtis smiled and nodded. "Sure. I'll put it on."  
  
Grissom shrugged off his coat and helped Sara with hers. "I'm going to wash my face." She said as she reached up and brushed her fingers through his curls. "You need to comb your hair."  
  
"I know." He chuckled, catching her hand as she pulled away. "Can we talk about Catherine later?" He asked seriously. Sara nodded slowly and turned away.  
  
"You want a beer Mr. Grissom?" Curtis asked as Grissom ventured into the kitchen.  
  
"No thanks and call me Gil."  
  
Curtis nodded and pointed to the fridge. "There's juice, milk, coffee, tea... a whole range of drinks to be honest. Help yourself."  
  
Grissom opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Thank you." He said as he unscrewed the cap.  
  
After a few quiet minutes, Curtis had the stir-fry cooking and the smell was reaching out to everyone. Sara had slipped into the kitchen and grabbed at juice as she watched Curtis cook. "You got noodles around this place, bro?"  
  
"Top left." He pointed over his shoulder with a spatula.  
  
Grissom watched her prepare the noodles and set them beside Curtis, who put them on to boil. Sara stepped back and bumped into Grissom. First instinct was to pull away, but Grissom wrapped his arm around her, his hand coming to rest on her stomach. He chuckled when he felt a rumble below his hand. Sara leaned back against him and smiled.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
[Not much more, I promise. R&R Please.] 


	8. Chapter 8

Section 8  
  
Curtis dropped down onto the couch and flipped on the TV. "Stargate's on, Sara!" He called out to the kitchen.  
  
"Record it please." She called back, too busy to do it herself.  
  
Grissom smiled and placed another dish into the dishwasher. "Should've guessed."  
  
Sara looked up at him and grinned. "What?"  
  
He chuckled and shrugged, placing a cup in the top basket. "I didn't know you were a Stargate fan." He stepped back as she closed the dishwasher door and turned it on. "Although the vast collection of dvd's gave it away." He smiled, remembering the line of Stargate dvd's on her shelf back in Vegas.  
  
"So?" She laughed. "Don't tell me you haven't got the whole series of X- files."  
  
Grissom turned a bright red and nodded. "I do, actually." Then laughed.  
  
Sara dried her hands quickly, before grabbing his hand and tugging lightly on it. As they approached the couch, she patted Curtis on the head and leaned down to kiss his hair. "Night bud."  
  
"Early night and a long sleep in?" He muttered, stealing a glance as she walked away.  
  
Grissom followed her as he was pulled towards her bedroom. At first, he thought they were going to watch Stargate, but as she opened her door, he knew otherwise.  
  
"We are going to talk about the problems that await back in Vegas, right?" He asked, suddenly very nervous. Which was an odd feeling.  
  
"We are. Just not in front of Curt and I wasn't going to deprive him of Major Sam Carter." She giggled, sitting on her bed, looking up at him as he stood in the middle of her carpet. "You gonna sit?"  
  
He shook his head and smiled. "No. It's better if I stand."  
  
Sara nodded and shrugged. "Talk."  
  
"Actually, I was hoping you could shed some light on your current professional relationship with Catherine."  
  
"Great." She muttered through closed lips. Sighing, she pulled her legs up and crossed them, leaning on her elbows and resting her chin in her joined hands. "She's a bitch."  
  
Grissom choked out a laugh. "Okay."  
  
Sara grinned. "That's my first thought, but she's always bossing me about."  
  
"She is of higher rank than you are." He reminded her.  
  
"I know, but it's not that. She's always pushing the rules and squashing regulations when it comes to her personal life."  
  
"I know."  
  
Sara raised a single eyebrow in question, but said. "I know you know, so why do you always stick up for her?"  
  
He stared at her for a long time, but looked down at his feet when he answered. "She covers for me."  
  
"You don't make out with suspects whilst on an active case." Sara snapped. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. "Sorry, it's just, she's always doing things that would get me fired if I thought about it. I thought you were favouring Warrick all the time, when you were, really, giving him a choice. But Catherine? She's using you to her advantage."  
  
Grissom nodded. "I hear you, Sara. I do. But Catherine thinks she can do what she likes and she has ways of manipulating you into doing things for her, especially if it concerns Lindsey's welfare."  
  
"So you give her a raise, because she's having a tough time." Sara stated, staring at his downcast head. "You bend the rules, because she can't get a lead by herself without crunching evidence."  
  
"Not all the time." He protested softly, looking up to meet her stare.  
  
"Most of the time. Even when Eddie died, you let her tread on my toes and insult me."  
  
Grissom's eyes grew wide. "She insulted you? How?"  
  
Breaking away from his piercing blue eyes, she shrugged. "I was letting her in on the case because she asked. I didn't realise until after I interviewed Lindsey, that Catherine was going to shove my job capabilities in my face. Since then, she's been manipulative, bossy, bitchy, snappy and questioning in everything I do."  
  
"I didn't know that." He said quietly, moving a few steps closer until he was kneeling against the bed. "I'm sorry."  
  
Sara smiled weakly. "You obviously didn't know. Although I thought you would have got it the other week when she took the case from Nick and me."  
  
"Oh." He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah. I did notice that, but it was difficult. A difficult decision, Sara. Please understand that."  
  
"I do, now, but then," She shrugged. "I felt ignored-"  
  
"-Like the rest of the year." He finished for her. "I remember everything you told me the other night."  
  
She grinned. "You mean shouted."  
  
He nodded. "Told, shout, either way, I heard you." Reaching up, he took her hands and kissed them. "I love you, you know? More than anything in the world."  
  
Sara nodded and leaned forward. "You wanna sleep with me, again?" She whispered against his lips, barely touching them.  
  
Grissom sighed softly. "I've heard that question before."  
  
"You didn't exactly give me an answer the first time." She countered, pulling back slightly to look into his eyes.  
  
Shifting on his knees, he stared at her lips with what seemed to be a hungry look in his eyes. "You sure?" His eyes met hers again.  
  
"You didn't ask last time."  
  
Meeting her with a thoughtful expression, he said. "Well, we didn't exactly leave time for anything."  
  
"So, why ask? Why wait?"  
  
Biting his lip, he shook his head and leaned back. "Nah, I'm gonna watch Stargate."  
  
Sara's mouth dropped open as he continued to shuffle back on his knees. "Gil!" She screeched with a laugh, lunging forward to grab his shoulders, tipping him off balance.  
  
"I guess I'm staying." He huffed out in a chuckle, wrapping his arms around her waist as she wiggled her body against his to look into his eyes.  
  
"I'm not stopping you from watching SG-1 from exploring yet another barren planet or defending the air base from aliens. I'm sure Curt wouldn't min-"  
  
"Stop talking." He murmured against her lips.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
[Not much more, I promise. Thank you for all your encouragement. Review Please.] 


	9. Chapter 9

Section 9  
  
-"Stop talking." He murmured against her lips.-  
  
Pushing back slightly from his lips, she stared into his eyes. "Do you really want to go there?" She asked quietly.  
  
Grissom sighed and closed his eyes, turning his head a little. "I told you how I feel, Sara."  
  
"No, you gave me a metaphor, not even that." Waiting a pregnant second, she broke out into a smile. "You'll stay?"  
  
Looking up at her, his hands slipped under her shirt. "I love you." He breathed, watching her smile faded. "I mean it."  
  
"I know." She closed her eyes and lowered herself onto him, wrapped her arms around his shoulder. "I've loved you for so long."  
  
"I know." Grissom sighed, pulling her tight against him, relaxing into each other's embrace as they lay on the floor of Sara's bedroom.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
A few minutes later as silence descended on them and only the sounds of the TV in the other room could be heard. Grissom's hands were rubbing the soft skin beneath Sara's shirt in a gentle soothing manner, while Sara's body soaked in his heat and resisted the urge to move as she was spread out across the lenth of his body from head to toe.  
  
Giving in at the same time, they kissed. The moment electrified by the amount of contact they were currently in and the fact that in the back of their minds, they knew how each other felt.  
  
Grissom's whole body was on alert as he quickly turned them, pushing Sara into the ground beneath them. His weight pressed down on her as they passionately kissed. Shirts and pants came off in a flurry as their kisses hardened and their movement's increased.  
  
"Griss?" Sara moaned, pushing him up. "The bed."  
  
He pulled her with him and scooped her up into his arms before delivering her swiftly to her bed. "More comfortable, I agree." He gasped, covering her body with his the instant she made contact with the mattress.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Curtis's head snapped up at the sound of a bang and grinned. He turned the TV off and grabbed his coat. They wouldn't miss him for a few hours while he went to the bar with a few friends. Probably won't even notice he's gone.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
"Sorry." He chuckled into her open mouth, kissing her quickly, before reaching for the overturned lap.  
  
Pulling his body against hers, she met him half way. Their bodies collided with each other gently as they stared into each other's eyes and shared brief but intense kisses. Hands caressed and explored as new heights were reached. The entire knowledge of being in love, for certain, threw in a large dose of passion into the mix of sweat and strength.  
  
Her hands grasped his back, holding him tightly as she flexed her hips, digging her heels into his calves. Gasping for breath as her mouth was released from his, she wrapped her arms around him as he buried his head into her shoulder. She felt his lips on her neck, sucking wildly as he increased all momentum.  
  
He held her shoulders briefly, before grabbing the sheet's and levering himself up to catch her eyes with his. He smiled tiredly and leaned down to kiss her cheek. Moving to her ear, he whispered with all the emotion he felt. "I love you."  
  
Pressing her face against his as she stiffened beneath him, she called his name in a breathless gasp. Her nails scrapped lightly across his back, slipping from the sweat.  
  
Slowing down to nothing but breathing heavily against skin, he placed a series of kisses of her shoulder, neck and face as he moved again, but more to separate them and pull her against him in a tired heap of sweaty bodies.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Hours of sleep flashed by and soon the sun was coming up again. It was only the second day Grissom had been in San Francisco and he needed to get Sara to go home with him. He couldn't go back to Vegas without her, it wasn't an option.  
  
"Have you thought about coming back with me?" He asked her suddenly as he stepped out of the shower to find her standing and brushing her teeth.  
  
Sara nodded and rinsed her mouth out. "I'm still not sure about Catherine."  
  
Grissom sighed and tied a knot in the towel around his waist before wrapping his arms around her from behind. "I need you with me."  
  
"I know." She leaned against him, dropping her head back onto his shoulder, leaving him plenty of flesh to taste. "I suppose I should talk to Catherine and find out what her problem is."  
  
"Yeah." He murmured, running his tongue across her collarbone. "I can stay another day, if you want or I can go back tonight." His seriousness devoured any mingling of playfulness as he turned her and looked into her eyes.  
  
Sara shook her head and hugged him. "I don't need more time to think. I just need time to sort things out. I didn't make any plans on my apartment or my things, but what about my job?"  
  
Grissom nodded and mulled this over briefly. He released her and brushed his teeth. As he was getting dressed, he watched her. "You forgot about me not giving in your resignation, didn't you?"  
  
She looked at him with a frown. "Couldn't that get you into trouble?"  
  
"Not really. I didn't tell anyone. Catherine's the only one who knows and she's unlikely to say anything after our last encounter." He shrugged as he pulled a t-shirt over his head. "You're on vacation as far as the lab is concerned."  
  
"And you?" She asked.  
  
"I'm on emergency leave, to be back by tomorrow." He sat on the bed and pulled on his shoes. "So, you coming with me tonight or are we going tomorrow?"  
  
Sara sat down beside him and brushed her hair in thought. "I'll have to talk to Curt and get my stuff collected up, but I don't see why we can't go back tonight."  
  
Grissom smiled. "That's settled then." Before she could put her brush down, he pulled her against him and kissed her. "Don't worry about us." He whispered, gazing into her eyes, kissing her again. "We'll work through anything that comes in our way."  
  
"I'm glad you're the one with all the know how and who what all of a sudden, because I was being to think I had no clue what to do when it involved you." Sara sighed, settling against him.  
  
"Well," He started. "That's not entirely true."  
  
Tilting her head up, she raised her eyebrows. "Oh, come on. You were practically hiding from me from just asking you out."  
  
"That's not even going to cross my mind anymore." He promised, kissing her cheek.  
  
To Be Continued....  
  
[Sorry, it's short guys. Review Please.] 


	10. Chapter 10 COMPLETED

Section 10  
  
[Ok, sorry about the wait G/S fans, I've had another bout of writers block. I should really go to bed before 6am, lol. That might help the thought processes. Anyway. Here's the last chapter. Tell me what you think and thank you for your patience.]  
  
Curtis placed Sara's bag on the floor as they stopped in front of the departure gate. "Are you sure about this?"  
  
"Yeah." She nodded.  
  
"I mean, it's only been a few days." He wasn't sure about her going back to Vegas so soon.  
  
Sara still had her doubts and wasn't looking forward to confronting her friends with why she left. Curtis was worried and Sara knew that, but she couldn't stay, not now, not after all that has happened. It was too good to be true, but it was what was happening.  
  
Grissom returned with their tickets and offered his hand to Curtis. "Thank you." He told the young man.  
  
Taking his hand, Curtis nodded. "Take care of her."  
  
"I will." Grissom turned to Sara and smiled. "Ready?"  
  
She looked between the two men and nodded, only to wrap her arms around Curtis one last time. "I'll call when we land, ok?"  
  
"You do that." He whispered, squeezing her tightly.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Twenty minutes into the flight, Sara turned her head away from the window and looked into the blue eyes that were watching her. She smiled a little and leaned into his side as he wrapped his arm around her. "I'm not sure what to say." She told him softly, confusion coating her voice.  
  
Grissom sighed. "About Catherine?" He felt her nod her head against his shoulder. "I said a lot of things I shouldn't have, but if I didn't say it, she would have kept butting in."  
  
"She must have said something bad to get a reaction from you." Sara said lightly, but frowned. What could Catherine have said to get him to lash out verbally?  
  
"I don't want to repeat it, but she's gotten away with enough already and thinks she knows what's good for me."  
  
"Does she?" Sara asked quietly, moving her head to rest against his chest as he pulled her closer.  
  
He sighed and kissed her hair. "No." He paused. "Maybe, sometimes, but not anymore."  
  
"What changed?"  
  
Grissom chuckled. "I did. You changed me."  
  
Sara smiled at the feel of him laughing and his chest huffing slightly, but she didn't like what he had said. "I don't want to change you." She said seriously. "I-"  
  
"You made me see what I was missing and in doing so, I found my... footing, I suppose."  
  
"When we get back, we are going to be bombarded with questions and possibly called into see Cavallo." Sara informed him, although she knew he understood and had already thought about it.  
  
"Let's take things so." He whispered in her ear. "I promised I'm not going to think about running or anything, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."  
  
The rest of the flight was spent in comfortable silence with the odd kiss or cuddle as the other passengers exchanged conversation.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara stood with her cell phone pressed to her ear as they walked from the airport to the taxi rank. Grissom had called for a taxi a few minutes ago when Sara remembered she had to call Curtis. Seeing as they both didn't have their cars and Grissom took a cab from his house the other day, they had no transport.  
  
"It's ok. I forgot I left it there. You can send it later. Say hi to Jaco... bye Curt." She hung up and placed her bag on the bench next to Grissom's.  
  
He looked from his watch to her. "Who is Jaco?"  
  
Sara grinned. "An old friend of Curtis'. They used to work together for a small computer compnay a few years back. Well," She laughed lightly, thinking back to the sound of Curtis' excited voice. "When Curt was leaving the airport, they ran into each other and ended up at a coffee shop."  
  
"Ah." Grissom nodded, understanding. He spotted a taxi approaching and picked up both their bags. "What did you forget?"  
  
"My field kit." She sighed, rubbing her tired eyes.  
  
After packing the bags in the back, they climbed into the warm cab and Grissom gave the driver directions to his townhouse.  
  
"You don't mine, do you?" He asked, worried she would want to go straight to her apartment.  
  
She shook her head and leaned it on his shoulder. "No." She yawned.  
  
Grissom looked down at her and saw her eyes close. "You still tired?" He asked, perplexed.  
  
"Hm-mm."  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara collapsed onto his couch and groaned tiredly. "I think I could sleep again."  
  
Grissom placed their bags in his room before heading into the bathroom to run a bath. "Well, I need you awake." He told her softly, moving back into the living room to extract her from the couch. "Come on, honey." He pulled her up and felt her lean heavily against him. "Oh no you don't." He chuckled.  
  
"Aww." She grumbled, feeling relaxed and comfortable being lazy and silly around him. "I wanna sleep, where we going?"  
  
"Bathroom." He helped guide her down the hall and into the steaming room.  
  
She giggled. "At least it's not a cold bath. Ok." She breathed in the steam deeply and began unbuttoning her shirt. "Where are we going after I take a bath?"  
  
Grissom stood in front of her and pulled the button of her pants free. "We have work tonight and I wanted to take you out."  
  
"Can't we stay in?" She sighed, but smiled as he abandoned her pants and started pulled off his own clothes. "Ok, we can go out, but we get to bath together." She compromised as he turned to the shower.  
  
He looked at the bath uncomfortably. "I've never shared my bath with anyone." Seeing her frown, he grinned. "But, you're not anyone." He unbuckled his belt and leaned in to press a kiss to her exposed neck and shoulder on his way passed her. "Need some more towels." He explained, leaving the room.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sitting in the diner across from the lab an hour before shift, Sara narrowed her eyes at the man across from her. "I'm suprisingly impressed."  
  
He looked up and squinted in confusion. "You wanted to go some place else?"  
  
Sara shook her head. "No, I like this diner. It's got to be the best one I've eaten in." She squeezed his knee where her hand rested. "You have something to do before shift?"  
  
Grissom nodded. "Cavallo wants to see me about some kind of confusion with overtime and paypackets." He shrugged uninterestedly. "I hate politics and I talking about irrellevant things when I could be solving a case, or." He paused and covered her hand on his knee, lacing their fingers together. "Spending time with you."  
  
"One flaw." She pointed out, raising her coffee to her lips before continuing. "Paypackets are important or flights to and from Frisco would not be possible, let alone money to by you're precious bugs their food."  
  
"Point taken, but what about overtime?" He licked his lips after taking a bite from his pastry. "That's not something I take lightly, as you know."  
  
Sara grinned. "I know, but overtime can crack or close a case, as you well know." She threw back, laughing when he smirked and chuckled.  
  
"Fine fine. Anyway, I've got paper to push for my first hour of shift, cuz I know I'm going to be there a while. So..." He added, taking another bite of his sugary food. "You, are going to give out assignments for me while Catherine stews."  
  
Looking surprised and unsure, Sara shook her head and pulled her hand from his. "Griss-"  
  
Sighing, he dropped his food back to the plate and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Listen," He said softly, leaning against the table. "I can't give this responcibility to Warrick. Cavallo wouldn't accept that, not after the scrapes he's gotten into the past year or so. Nicky is not up to it, not yet anyway. And, Catherine, no. She needs to understand that I'm in charge and I will run nightshift my way not hers."  
  
"Still-"  
  
Grissom laughed at the animated look on her face as she wrinked her nose. "You're adorable when you're flustered."  
  
Sara smiled widely and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Come on, I want to walk this food off before we go in." He placed some bills on the table and stood.  
  
She took his hand and pulled herself up. "We should talk about what you're going to say to Catherine."  
  
Grissom nodded. "You too. I should apologise for the things I said about Eddie, but I'm not sure it'll make any difference. Just thinking about what she put you through and the others for the past few months is, well, it angers me."  
  
"How about we talk to her together? It's not what I'd do normally, but I think that part of this whole problem is us. We haven't exactly made life easy for the others." Sara said thoughtfully. She loved her friends, but there was still a strain that had settled on them in the past year and she knew it was partly because of her and Grissom's attitude towards each other.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Grissom was still in his meeting with the director when the beginning of shift began and Sara was growing more uncertain with the trust he had given her. Oh, she could hand out assignments, but the reaction from the others was not what she was looking for.  
  
"Hey Sara." Nick smiled and poured an extra coffee. "How was you're holiday?"  
  
Warrick closed his sports mag and took one coffee from Nick. "Yeah, where'd you go girl? Somewhere hot?"  
  
Sara smiled. "Could say that." She was deffinitly hot when it involved Grissom. Shaking her head slightly to rid herself of the images that popped into her head, she sat down at the table where Nick had placed her coffee. "Thanks."  
  
"Where's Griss?" Nick asked, looking across the room at Catherine.  
  
"Meeting." Sara answered when Catherine shrugged and stood to move to the table.  
  
Nick nodded and sipped his coffee. "So, what we got Cath?"  
  
Catherine opened her mouth to speak, but was politely cut off by Sara.  
  
"Because Griss is busy, he gave me assignments, sorry Catherine."  
  
"No probs." The blonde replied resonabally calmly.  
  
"What we got boss?" Warrick teased.  
  
Sara smiled warmly at them and pull two assignments from her pocket. "Well, young ones," She teased back. "You two kiddies get a robbery gone wrong. A woman was shot. Rumours that it was inhouse, so watch your backs." She hand Warrick the slip. "Cath, you me and Griss, got three DB's at the Luxor. Stabbing from what the police tell me. Brass is waiting on us, but Griss said to get started."  
  
Everyone got to their feet and headed towards the door. "Report to Griss when you see him guys." Sara called to Nick and Warrick as they walked away.  
  
"Sure thing Sara." Warrick called back.  
  
Catherine gathered her coat and moved to stand in front of Sara as she held out the slip. "You primary?" She asked.  
  
Sara shook her head to the blondes surprised. "You out rank me. Griss will take lead when he gets back. You're primary till then."  
  
"Ok. Oh, hey Sara." Catherine said softly.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Can we talk later, maybe on break or after shift?"  
  
Sara nodded. "Sure."  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Grissom parked his car beside Sara's and climbed out, grabbed his field case as his feet touched the ground. "Sara!" He called out as he looked around for her. There were police controlling a crowd at the entrance to the Luxor. Two bodies were lying on the ground.  
  
"Up here!" She shouted from above.  
  
He looked up into the darkness of the night, but squinted at the slight glare of the Luxors lights. "Where?"  
  
"Above you're head!"  
  
"She's on the first floor." Catherine told him. "The third body is up there."  
  
Grissom nodded. "What happened?"  
  
"Griss!?"  
  
Both Catherine and Grissom turned their heads back to the voice.  
  
"Yeah!?"  
  
"Need you!"  
  
Raising a curious brow at the darkness. "Care to elborate!?"  
  
Silence met him.  
  
"Found a knife!" Sara finally called out.  
  
"Ok, I'll be there in five minutes!" He turned to Catherine. "What happened?" He asked again.  
  
Catherine pointed to the bodies as David started shifting the bodies. "Three stabbing victims. All ID'd and all were seen entering that room up there by a maid about 4 hours ago."  
  
Grissom nodded. "How'd they end up out here?"  
  
"Scuffle. One fell through the window and took the other with him. Both died on impact, too much blood loss." She explained, moving with him as he started walking to the elevators. As they stood in the elevator and Grissom pushed the button, Catherine glanced at him. "Gil?"  
  
He looked at her and nodded. "We can talk later."  
  
She nodded and sighed.  
  
The case was relatively rapped up by the end of shift. All vics worked together and were involved in insurance fraud. Greed killed them all, leaving worthless money behind for their families.  
  
*^*^*^*  
  
Sara stood in reception waiting for Grissom to get off the phone with the DA. He was called to talk about some court hearings next week. She spotted Catherine and offed the older woman a friendly smile. "Hey."  
  
"Hey. You ready?" Catherine ask, pulled the door open.  
  
"Just waiting for Griss-" Grissom appeared before she could finsh.  
  
He smiled at Sara. "Let's go."  
  
Catherine nodded and led the way out to the diner. Once they were sat down, they order some breakfast and coffee.  
  
"Cath, I'm sorry." Grissom blurted out after the waitress left their coffee.  
  
"No, it's me who should be apologising."  
  
Sara smiled weakly. "We all need to apologise, huh?"  
  
Grissom chuckled, letting the tension affect him as funny. He sipped his coffee and bumped his shoulder with Sara, still looking across the table at Catherine. "We all learn the hard way." He announced.  
  
They all agreed.  
  
"Perhaps we should stop what we're doing and start over." Catherine suggested. "I shouldn't have taken my problems out on you lot, or the rest of the lab. I should have talked to someone ages ago."  
  
Sara shrugged. "Not to mention the explosive environment Griss and I errected over the lab."  
  
Grissom sighed. "Yeah, that too. We've all done something over the past year or so to get on each others nerves and make other's edgy." Turning to look at Sara, he smiled weakly. "Not to mention, unhappy."  
  
They fell into a strange silence as the waitress came back with their food. Appetite was slowly returning as Sara and Grissom ate off eat other's plate like it was the most natural thing in the world.  
  
Catherine found this funny. Even though she had been bitter towards the idea of them getting together, she could see how comfortable they were now. 'Guess they sorted things out.' She smiled. "Tell me." She began. "Where did you go Griss? You didn't say you were upping and leaving for a few days."  
  
"It was two days and no, I didn't tell anybody." He looked at her briefly. "I-I was living my life." He said softly, pushing his food around his plate.  
  
Sara watching his curiously. "Living your life?" She asked.  
  
He nodded and turned to looked at her with a frown. "You didn't see it like that?"  
  
After a few quiet contemplating moments, she nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, I did, just never heard you say it."  
  
"Oh." He smirked and turned back to his food. "Living in order to love." He said thoughtfully, picking up some pancake with his fork.  
  
Sara snickered as he missed his mouth. "Yup, deffinitly living it, all the way down your shirt."  
  
Catherine laughed and passed a napkin to Sara. "Here."  
  
"Thanks." Sara grinned. "Come here." She said as though she were talking to a child.  
  
"I'm not a baby." He sighed, watching her wipe the sugar and sticky syrup from his shirt and chin. "Sara." He sighed again.  
  
She giggled. "I know, but you'll be doing the same in a few months anyway."  
  
Grissom slowly looked up and stared at her as she raised her eyes to his and shrugged her shoulders.  
  
Catherine choked on her coffee and patted her chest as she covered her mouth with her napkin.  
  
THE END, perhaps, I'll think about it. 


End file.
